PARENT - Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess track registered post excellent track registered post communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include ev enings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing track registered post to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams track registered post from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, track registered post such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, track registered post maintain calendars and coordinate track registered post production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. track registered post Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared track registered post for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance track registered post and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating track registered post your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually track registered post exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION track registered post : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent track registered post raises and bonuses. track registered post A balloon payment i s due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
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